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puzzled on 07/05/2006
Re my question: Keeps asking me out but
does he fancy me.
I have shocking/devastating/disturbing
news.
I got a call from a friend that someone
had told him that one of the guys we hang out with is gay. This person
(who happens to be my best friend refuses to disclose who he is).
You should always be wary of gossip,
unless you know for sure. Is this best friend of yours male and
maybe fancies you, if the answer to both those questions is yes, then
maybe he is trying to dissuade from fancying this bloke. Even if
your best friend is female, then she might be dissuading you because she
fancies him.
Though the possibility of him being gay
may explain why he has been so odd with you.
I think my man might be the
one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
There's no point in making presumptions,
it is a good idea to find out, and the only way to find out is to get to
know him a bit more.
I just couldn't believe it, Sam. I'm so
shocked and disturbed and disappointed. It's yet to be confirmed but I
suspect it's him.
From my experience of knowing gay men in
the past, you can't really tell the difference between gay and straight
men when they are younger. I knew 3 gay men when I was younger and
none of them were obviously gay at first. It was only after about a
year that I started to have my suspicions about one, though his voice
sounding like Dale Winton's should have been a giveaway. Another
one I only found out when he asked me out.
Then another one had loads of girlfriends
when I knew him, but a few years after we finished college he announced
he was gay. I think he went through a period where he wasn't
sure. Or maybe he'd just had enough of women and thought men were a
better option, only joking!
What I usually find with gay men, is they
have lots of female friends and their female friends know very well that
they are gay. But there are the odd few, when they are younger that
haven't quite come to terms with being gay or maybe haven't fully decided
(like the guy I mention above). It is possible that your guy is one
of these, but I wouldn't jump to conclusions.
But he always talks about women, that
he's asked this girl out, he talks about porn, etc. I just don't know
what to say. I'm very confused. I have nothing against gay men. One of my
best friends is. But how could I have not known that he was gay and
fancied him all this time?!
The fact is you don't know he is gay, so I
don't see the point in being paranoid about it at the moment.
How can I find out for sure?
I know a lot about
straight men, but can never quite work out and have not spent enough time
with gay men, so I'm not really suitable to comment on this
subject. All I can say is get to know him a bit more, eventually it
might leak out of him, that he is gay.
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