RedHead on 16.01.06

just writing a second time to clarify an info i think u might have read wrong and also add to what i wrote b4. Hope u dont mind!

He never called me a nasty nickname, rather he  used to have a  cute nickname 4 me and called me that everytime he saw me at uni, but one time i sent him a text and decided to call him a name..like i formed a nickname 4 him?(it was actually a gangsta name?) he he!,,,and after that text he stopped calling me the nickname he used in the past , rather he went back to using my normal name so i wondered if he was scared i was gonna start calling him the name in the text and thot it wud be safe to stop calling me my nickname!..but i miss it and dont knw! how to tell him.

  I also have a few questions for you.

1)      we had the christmas break and it was for three weeks but he never got in touch with me? tho i heard he had a shoulder accident(frm the internet)-i tell u hes that popular!. i guess he must have been fine after a week but he wasnt in touch but then i wasnt in touch with him too.so y do u reckon a guy wud be interetsed and not call or text in 3 weeks?

He may have been busy with his family, daughter (I read below before typing this).  He may have thought he would appear desperate if he texts you.  He may have thought that you did not text him so he didn’t want to appear like he was stalking you.  He may not have known what to say.  The possibilities are endless.  Just because someone doesn’t text you, doesn’t mean they are not interested.  

2)      I also  have  two girls i hang out with at uni, and i stopped hanging out with them as they never want to study or go to the library so i hang out with them like once a week and have the rest of the time to myself. Now this girls are my closest friends in class next to this dude i fancy and they reckon hes my boyfriend already!

            If many people are seeing you as a couple, then they have obviously picked up on the fact that you are both attracted to each other. 

and i am lying to them nothings going on. and so wen i hang out with him-Fred (censored, not his real name), they feel am dumping them for him and wen i hang out with them, they start asking " have u guys fallen out?" and it gets me angry ..

They are jealous, playing games and trying to wind you up.  I have been jealous when some of my friends totally disowned me because they started going out with a woman.  Of course I get over it eventually.  I also wind them up about it, “she has got you wrapped around her finger”.  But in fact I am happy for them, they are happy and have found a long term girlfriend, it’s up to them whether they want to dedicate more time to their girlfriend.  Of course you should not completely dump your friends because they may be needed if the relationship fails to work out.

and Sam guess what?...wen i hang out with them and i have a chance to talk to him, tho he doesnt say it outright frm wat he says he sounds like he wud prefer if i was with him..

It’s only natural that he would want your exclusive attention, whether you are a very good friend or a girlfriend. 

cos note this he doesnt really hang out with anyone at uni constantly except me..i mean he talks to the rest of the class and wen am with my other friends hes mostly by himself on his phone or with the guys or one of the women will be chattin to him. 

well , theres also this pretty girl that chats to him everytime she can and i rememeber one time she was  trying to strike up a conversation with him and he turned to me included me in by asking me a question and right after that we continued talking and the girl ! was kinda out of the converstaion and everytime u see him talking to her, its her who asks him all the questions and he talks to her and laughs but he never hangs out with her at uni .

 About my friends , do u think i shud suggest to Ted that my friends tease me about him -as in the two girls at uni-?and c wat he says

If you get the chance, then yes, try it

cos am scared of asking him out cos i never asked a guy out .

Well there has to be a first time for everything, so don’t keep making the excuse that “I am too scared of asking him out cos I never asked a guy out”.  Do you think guys are not scared either?  A guy is much more likely to be declined than a woman.  Cause women are fussier than men. 

and i think am pretty enough for him to ask me out.

So he “is not pretty enough for you to ask him out”.  These are just typical excuses that you get from a woman.  Like the one where women say “it’s a man’s job to ask a woman out”.  In other words your mind is making excuses to avoid having to do such a difficult task. 

One day randomly in class he asked me if i like to drink- and get drunk and i said no and he asked wat kinda drinks i like and added "pls not cider!" he made me laugh , i told him and he laughed and i asked him in turn wat he liked and he told me and i told him i only got drunk once and i told him wen as it was recently and i went str8 to bed and he told me the last time he was drunk was 7 years ago...i think he was joking but can u ! beat that?! he he! 

I hope u dont get angry at me as am pouring my heart out here ,,,am just thinking i can write stuff to convince you so i dont get to ask him out. My parents live in another town and i had to go for my dads birthday and he was travelling there to train- hes a professional sportsman -and he drove me and we talked loads on the way and back and i told him about my flatmates and how i got on with just one and he asked me wat she was like and i said "shes nice, doesnt drink alcohol and a good laugh" and he kinda said it was interesting she didnt drink and like a month later my flatmate came to see me at uni and Ted came up to me and said- "thats the girl u told me about right?" am like yeah..he remembered , i introduced them and my friend obsereved he kept trying to talk to me and do stuff to get my attention. 

Yes, this is still conclusive evidence that he fancies you, he would rather talk to you, than anybody else. 

I also sent him a text 3 days ago..actually i was ringing him initially to complain abt this dude on my course who annoyed me and i was so angry (i rang him up as a friend )to tell him wat the guy had done but it went to his voicemail and so i tried his landphone that ! was wen i got the woman who said it was a  wrong number, and then eventually i sent a text to tell him how angry i was at that guy, as i wanted the guy to drop me off home and he said yes but still left me but hes not replied the text and am wondering y. 

Finally..i knw ur angry at me 4 writing so much at this point..bear with me..its love!..well Fred always comes to me and asks advice abt uni wrk "like do u think i shud write the answer in this way ?..." even tho hes more brilliant than me . he always gets a mark or two higher than me everytime yet he comes to ask me stuff and wen we talk he regularly says stuff like .."am just like u..i dont like grapes too..." etc and each time he says it i jst feel closer to him. 

In conclusion..( i think i've done 2000 words at this point!) ,  i find it funny that i trust! this guy like i have never trusted any guy i dated and it scares me. Not that i trust he will never do anything bad..i jst trust him as a man and knw i can be safe with him..does that make anysense?..and if u knw me ..u'll knw i have never really trusted anyone except my family...and you...he  he..i jst opened my heart to u... 

I promise this is the last paragraph and i i have no more suprises abt this guy except that i still fancy him and wonder what u think i shud do. how wud a woman shw shes interested in a guy without coming on too strong ?..

You have certainly got to think instinctively, any chance you get in general conversation can potentially lead to you asking him out, without actually blatantly asking him out.  I can’t really give you any further examples other than that “weekend one”, because things just get dropped into conversations and you have to manipulate the conversation instantly into an asking out opportunity. 

Another way of getting together is using close body language.  For example, you need to grab something and he is in your way.  Don’t say excuse me, but just lean on him, in a relaxed not forceful or obvious way.  Rest your boobs on him.  When a woman has brushed her boobs against me, it has always sent a thunderbolt up my spine, whether I find her attractive or not, and whether it was accidental or not, it really is a very nice feeling for a bloke.  Or go the full hog when leaning over him and rest your boobs against the top of him and open up the full front of your body so your trailing foot is round the back of one of his legs, your midrift is touching his legs.  Just think of him as a friend or think of it as a game, you are not bothered about him having full access to your body, so why be nervous about it. 

Other close body language situations.  Whisper in his ears, but get so close that your lips actually touch his ear briefly (accidentally of course).   

In other cases it just happens, you are sat close to each other, you are both laughing then all of a sudden your eyes meet and your lips just instantly move together and you start kissing.  This will just happen and believe me you will do it instinctively without even thinking about it.  But you have to put yourself in that position as much as possible. Sitting face to face is no good, sitting facing the front like you do in class is no good.  Sitting next to each other and facing each other at an angle is ideal.