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sally anne on 30/10/2006
I have known this guy for a year
now, we drink in the same pub and sit together at the bar each time we
are in. Once or twice a week. I fancy him like mad, but act quite cool
towards him. I am very friendly but have not given him any indication
that I fancy him. (At least dont think I have) He always seems happy to
see me, especially if I arrive later than normal, his face lights up.
This is not conclusive because he
could just admire you as a friend. He maybe be bored and then you
walk in and he sees some entertainment.
He buys me drinks but it never goes
any further than that.
He must value you a fair bit to
regularly buy you drinks, whether as a friend or as a potential
girlfriend.
I live very close to our local, he
always travels by car and lives about 8 miles away.
That is quite a distance to travel
to the pub (16 mile round trip), there must be something there that
attracts him to the pub.
So he never has that extra drink to
give him courage, if he was to need courage! (I have never asked him back
to mine, as I dont want to start anything up by him thinking he can just
come back to my place)
I know I say in many of my
articles, not to invite any guys back for sex in the early stages of a
relationship or even before a relationship starts. But there are
ways to get him to go back to your place without the necessity to have
sex. Like he might be good with computers, he might be a plumber,
in which case he could fix either your plumbing (sounds a bit naughty) or
your computer. Or he might mention a DVD he wants to see, in which
case you tell you have that DVD, do you want to come round and watch it,
later in the week.
He is often the first one to leave
when we are out, after he has had his drink limit.
Sounds like a decent bloke, not
many stick to their drink limit.
I feel that he should have asked me
out by now, and still have hope. My friends think that he is obviously
not that into me.
If they have met him with you
present and have made that judgement, I think friends are often a pretty
good judge. If they haven't met him many times in your presence
then I wouldn't rely on their opinion too much.
But I have different views, as he
once said that he liked to get to know someone well and was very slow at
warming to a person.
There are very cautious men.
Particularly men that have had bad experiences with women in the
past. I tend to go on quite a bit about the bad men out there, but
believe me there are some women that are just as bad. For this
reason some men, tend to be a bit cautious. I think it is safe to
say that these men take a lot of convincing before they get into a
relationship. Often they have been single for a long time and would
find it difficult having a woman trying to control their time and
liberty. However after convincing these type of guys you can often
end up with a good catch. Because once you break that barrier down
and convince them, they will often open up big time. It is just
quite an achievement for a woman to get that far.
Am I just disillusioning myself. I
have never flirted with him, mainly because i didnt want him to think I
flirted with everyone, but I feel now that I should as we know one
another better, and want to move it up a gear.
Yes, you should definitely flirt
with him. To move his mind on from the friend relationship to a
potential sexual relationship (but don't just turn up one day and
start endlessly flirting, you have got to gradually build up the
flirting). Flirting is also fun, if you do it right. The only
way he could get into his head that you flirted with everyone, is if you
flirted with loads of other blokes in the pub.
Could this make any difference. And
one other thing, is it possible for a guy to fancy you as he knows you
better over the months or is it a case of if he doesnt fancy you at first
he never will.
It is definitely possible for a
guy to fancy you or even fancy you more as your friendship grows.
Sometimes a man can see a woman as just a friend for a long time and then
all of a sudden she will do something to really turn him on. It could
be that she just does something nice for him or says something nice to
him, and blokes are not used to women doing nice things for them (But
don't overdo it and do too many nice things for him).
Or it could be that you accidently
touch him one day or he accidently touches you one day (and you don't
move quickly out of the way and say sorry, flinch or do anything
negative). Then he will kind of think, I want to touch her again,
how far can I take the touching thing with her, before she gets uncomfortable.
I am a bit confused but hoped you
might put me right!
Although I answered all your
questions above. I really can not decisively tell you whether he
fancies you or not.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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