His ex-girlfriend has come back on the scene.

"Do you think that he may come back to me?"

If it does not work out with his girlfriend, then almost certainly yes, he will come back to you. It is very likely that his relationship with his current girlfriend will break down at some point. For a start if she has wandered off with someone else once, she is more than likely to do it again. Secondly very few second chances at relationships work out, because eventually you hit the same problems you had before.

"He has told me that he does not trust the woman he has gone back to and he is aware that she is still in touch with the guy she has just left."

The same rules apply to woman as men. If they are unfaithful once, they are always going to be unfaithful. He is right not trusting her and probably a bit disillusioned to go back to her.

"Do I wait for him, because I feel that he is the one for me."
It is just a question how long it will take for their relationship to break down again. It could be days, months or even years. Do you really want to wait that long? Secondly if he really fancied you that much then why shouldn't he give you priority over her. But I suppose your relationship with him has only been short and this other girlfriend has been more long term, so he probably feels attached more to this other girlfriend.

I personally would say don't wait around, if he gets back to you before you find another decent boyfriend, then that's a bonus. If he doesn't get back to you before you find a new boyfriend, then tough luck to him. Or you have a choice between him and your new boyfriend!

Smiler36 Reply on 02.10.2005

One more question....should i keep in touch with him via the odd text, just to see how he is doing, and to keep me in his thoughts??? Or should i give him his space? Thanks

Sam's Reply

It certainly won't hurt to send him the odd text. Just don't send too many, too often, otherwise he will think you are a stalker (otherwise known as a bunny boiler).

Smiler36 Reply on 19.10.2005

Hi, futher to my recent posts to you, there has been a development or two. The guy that i was talking about has now been dumped by his girlfriend(just as you indicated would happen). We have agreed to meet (as friends) for a coffee next week. However, i went to a wedding reception a few days ago and bumped into him just as i was going in to the venue. (he was at same venue for different reason). We had brief chat and then he gave me a big hug and kissed me on the mouth. Why?? Does this indicate that he still cares?? Or could he be just playing with my feelings??? I dont know what to think. Your advice would be most welcome. Thanks.

Sam's Reply

You said "We had brief chat and then he gave me a big hug and kissed me on the mouth. Why??" I don't really know, but he obviously wanted to for some reason.

You said "Does this indicate that he still cares??" It is obvious he still cares. He would not kiss you or hug you or agree to see you if he didn't care. I am not sure that "care" is the right word to use for men though, men only care significantly about women after they have been going out with them for a long time. Care in this case, means he cares about having a relationship with you.

You said "Or could he be just playing with my feelings???" Well he could be, but in most cases things are black and white with men. The majority of men, don't play too many games with women. Women tend to be much more socially intelligent than men, which means if men play games, they usually end up losing (and men don't like losing!). It is women that tend to do the game playing and men have to respond to those games (some of them are quite annoying games). Most men certainly don't play with feelings, most of them don't know what the word "feelings" means.

You said "Your advice would be most welcome". I can usually give a more definitive answer, but in your situation I am unsure. If this guy really fancied you, he should have given you priority over his previous girlfriend. But then he has not known you for that long and has had a long term attachment to his girlfriend. When you have been in love with a woman for a long time it is hard to break the relationship up, even if she has been cheating (and even if it is a completely stupid idea to give his girlfriend a second chance).

Right, a more definitve answer: In your situation I think it is worth giving the relationship a go and see how it works out. You can always opt out if it is not working for you. You could have a guy who is confused about whether he wants his previous girlfriend or a new girlfriend. Or you could have a guy who has kept you as a reserve girlfriend in case, the other one did not work out. Which of those is true I can't tell you.