I met with my high school lover two months ago, after emails and text messages. He'd asked for a relationship, I'd said yes. We slept together, it was what we both intended, we'd been there before. It wasn't just sex, we lay in each others arms for hours before and afterwards, just talking.

That's a positive sign, that you laid together for hours both before and after.  Some men often crave being held in a woman's arms for hours too.

He'd made it clear from the start he didn't want a one night stand. He left something behind after our night together and when i txt him to tell him, he asked me to hang onto it, as he would have to see me again to get it back, meaning he wanted to see me again. He's also said he enjoyed the evening and night with me. My problem is this: whenever I say i like him (like, not love), or something similar he goes quiet.

Men find it very difficult to react to these emotional conversations.  Nevertheless, you would expect him to at least manage to react positively in someway.  Usually when he does not know what to say in response, he will hug or kiss a lady.  This means he can get out of actually saying anything because he can't think of any words to respond with.  Some men are not used to this situation though, so won't have a clue what to say or do.

If I get sexually suggestive, he reacts but again makes it clear he wants a lasting relationship with me.

He seems to be trying to re-assure you too much, almost as if he is trying to re-assure himself of the same thing. As if to say I do really want a lasting relationship, don't I?  A sort of guilt trip.

When I reply that I do too, again he goes quiet.

Again you have got to debate whether he is lost for words or whether he is a bit unsure of what he is saying.  You can usually pick up from the tone of his voice, how sure he is about what he is saying.

Please can you help me understand what is going on in his head? Is he interested or confused or not interested?

I would be more inclined to say he is confused or maybe not that convinced that he wants to be with you long term.  I seem to get a hint from you that he had sex with you that night, but you haven't seen that much of him since.  This would indicate he has had his sex, and will be back for more sex when he feels like it.

We're in our late twenties. I have two children, and am no longer with their dad (split up long before this man came back on the scene) which he knows about. He has no children, never married.

That sort of tells me a few things.  Having children always puts serious doubts into a blokes head.  If your man was still on the scene that would be even worse.  But basically, a man would find it difficult to raise his own kids, but to raise someone else's kids would be doubly difficult.  The fact that he doesn't have children, suggests that he would find it even more difficult to relate to bringing up kids, it would be a seriously scary thought to him.  You probably don't know, but if he hasn't had many girlfriends in the past, then he may be used to having his independance (and won't want to lose it), as well as lacking the experience of communicating with women. 

We both have respectable full time jobs. Live about 130 miles apart.

Ah, that explains, why you haven't seen each other soon afterwards.  But hopefully he has kept up some frequent communication.

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