I was on here a wee while ago asking for your insight on what was going through my man's head (old lover that I live some distance from). Well, last week I was going through his neck of the woods,we were going to meet up but he said it was too late in the evening for him.

Too late in the evening, to meet up with someone that has travelled some distance ->  Useless excuse.

I assumed this was him saying he wasn't interested, so i told him i was going to get on with my life.

Yes, he was saying he wasn't interested and you should get on with your life (he was just too confused to say those words).

Few days later, missing him, i rang him and asked outright if he wanted to see me again, he said he did and that he had never felt better than when he was with me, i said i missed him and he relied that he missed me too.

He may be telling the truth when he says he never felt better than when he was with you and he might be missing you to a certain extent, but he certainly isn't missing you enough.  Blokes tend to miss their Ex's from time to time because their Ex was a part of their life and a part of their memory.  But then blokes come to their senses after thinking for a while, and they realise there was a reason why they parted from their Ex. 

To me this is a classic case of either a bloke that drinks too much alcohol or a bloke that has very fluctuating hormones.  When men get drunk they want sex, and their Ex becomes an attractive option if they can't find any suitable replacements.  Which is why women often get texts from their Ex's when they are drunk, wanting to meet up again and they will shovel any particular crap at their Ex "like I miss you", to win their Ex back.  With the hormones siutation, a man's hormones tend to fluctuate on average once a week.  Every once a week a man craves sex, then once he has had some or relieved himself, those cravings go and he isn't really interested in a woman for another week when his hormones reach a peak again.  Men will often keep their Ex's happy, ready for the time they next want some sex.  This is what I see this guy doing.  He has tried to keep you happy, but you turned up in town at the wrong time (when he didn't have the craving for sex).

Then there is the potential for him to go on a guilt trip.  In the heat of the moment he wanted to meet up with you.  But after a lot of thinking he realises it won't last and he would only be using you for sex and therefore he ends up going on a guilt trip and can't face meeting up with you.  He's scared about what might happen, that he might land himself in a situation where he gets embarrassed or exposed.  He doesn't really want to hurt your feelings.

Other instances where men are indecisive, is where he is scared of what women are capable of.  Women can be quite devious and viscious.  Men try to keep women happy so they don't go spreading false rumours about a bloke, or so the woman doesn't start playing revenge games on him.  Men, may seem like a dominant aggressive sex, but in reality they are quite scared of bitches (women who can turn nasty, men presume that all women have the potential to turn nasty, if provoked).  Men only know how to defend themselves physically (and most sensible men, know they can't go beating women in), verbally and socially they are pretty much useless at defending themselves against women.  Women can quite easily verbally batter a man or spread malicious rumours, which a man can't defend himself from (a man's reputation is important to him, a destroyed reputation can make a man feel really low and depressed), that is seriously scarey to a man.  He doesn't want your to meet up with you and end up having a massive fight.

Any of the above reasons could be true because I don't know what your Ex is like.

So he said that if he could get to see me when I was in his area, he would. I txt him to say I'd arrived and i got one back saying he'd try to get to see me. He didn't, and it's been a week now since I've heard anything. No reply to other txt messages i sent him.

You don't refuse or fail to meet up with a woman, that you really fancy.  It just doesn't happen.  If he really fancied you and really missed you, then he would meet up with you.

I just don't get him at all, he's one man I never could read. It seems he ain't interested but if i ask him if he still wants to be together, he insists he does, then i don't hear anything for a while. After a week or two, I'll get a txt or email indicating he wants to see me again eg "can't wait till it's real again", etc.

This to me is either alcohol or hormones then, if he is actively contacting you.

Sam, I've fallen for him again, but I don't know what it is he wants.

He certainly doesn't value you as a long term relationship.  You just don't go failing to meet up with someone you fancy, particularly if they have travelled a long distance.

I ask him, he says he wants us to be happy together, then goes quiet on me.

He is seriously confused.  You want to be with a guy that is not certain about you.  Otherwise you will spend all you life with him chopping and changing his mind about you.  It sounds to me to be either alcohol related or hormone related confusion (these are not medical terms, I've just used them to describe what I mean).

Can you help me understand what is going through his mind? I don't want a broken heart but at the same time,

Your going to get a broken heart, this guy does not decisively fancy you, he is simply holding onto a few good memories about your relationship.

I always carried a torch for him, and no man has ever come close to making me feel the way he does, I don't want to walk out on what could be a wonderful future with a man I love dearly.

This guy should be making you confused, that's how he should be making you feel.  You shouldn't feel anything more than confused about him.  For that reason, ditch the idea of getting with him and move onto someone else.

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