there is this guy work with and i talk to him alot. He used to flirt with me quite obviously with little things e.g like texting me commenting on how good i looked today and ringing me every night for no reason just to talk about anything and everything for half an hour. he also gets into conversations about relationships and asking if i was in one and if i told him where i would be later on, he would be there briefly. but a colleague/friend of mine was talking to him and said she knew someone that likes him and he guessed straight away it was me and told her he had already been told. but after that day he hasnt rung me or texted me and im the one who always has to text him first (which is rarely). what does this mean, does he like me and if so why doesnt he ring me anymore? also my colleague/friend cant really be trusted and i am beginning to wonder if she has said something else to him? i really like this guy.

Sam's Response

I would have to say that the guy almost certainly fancied you in those early stages that you talk about. Men never flirt and make extreme efforts to chat with someone for a long time unless they fancy them. They may flirt and chat for short periods of time without fancing you, but certainly not a continued effort like you talk about.

Something has obviously happened to make him not want to contact you.

- He may have found a girlfriend.
- He may have got fed up of making an effort with you and getting nothing back. Mistaking you for one of those women that flirt with men for fun.
- He may have worked out that the only way to get your attention is to go silent and let you contact him.
- Women always want what they can't have and men are the same. Now he knows you fancy him, maybe you have lost that appeal with him.
- You are right your colleague might have said something bad to him. No offence to women, but never trust other women, because they are your competition!

If you really fancy him then you need to find out what the situation is. The only way to find out is to find out from him, not from any of your colleagues and not through trying to mind read what he is thinking. It could be that you have left it too long and now he does not fancy you.

The stakes are high and it is simply a question of how much you fancy him. Make a move if you fancy him a lot, move onto another man if you don't fancy him a lot. If he says no, there are plenty more men out there for you to look out for and it just wasn't meant to happen with you and him.

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