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tea2006 on 12/09/2006
I have split up with my husband and
met up with one of his best mates it started off as friendly texts from
him I then met him and went on from there. This has carried on for 5
months one minute he tells me that I mean the world to him, am the
perfect girl for him, he has cooked for me do men go to all this trouble
if they are using you.
They can, but usually not.
I went on holiday and we talked and
text all the time when I got home he said he really missed me. I thought
all this talk was quite heavy from a bloke.
Yes, it is, it takes a bloke a lot
of guts to say "I miss you". Men tend to hate emotional
talk.
I really like him and he knows this
now he has stopped texting so much just on a fri or sat the days he knows
I could be out as I also have children he is now having problems with his
son who is not well and has said that it is off for the moment but to
keep texting him I don't want to cut him out as I do like him and his son
is not well but I do'nt know what to do know should I text him on a
friendly basis I just think if he likes me that much he would'nt cut me
out altogether !
You are both in a very difficult
situation. You both have children, who should be the priority to
both of you. You both have partners (or ex-partners), you both have
failed relationships. That is not a very easy situation to get a
relationship from. Something somewhere is likely to clash.
Whether it be your children, your ex-partners, or both of you. Then
are too many people involved for it to stand a good chance of working.
You are both probably very cautious because of the effect on your
children and the fact that you both have failed relationships. Some
people do make this situation work, but there are a lot more, where it
doesn't work. What you certainly need to do is give it time, give
it time to work out whether it will or won't work. You can't just
drop children one day and fly off into the sunset and have a relationship
and live happily ever after with someone. It has got to be a
gradual thing and you certainly can't push a bloke into making quick
decisions in this situation.
I know his son comes first, is this
a nice way of him saying goodbye or should I cut him out altogether which
I don't want to do if I stop texting and he is interested will he get in
contact with me.
All you need to do, is to remain
friendly with him. Give him some space, don't be over-possessive
and don't text him too much. Be understanding, because you would
expect him to be understanding to you if one of your children were
ill. You'll see eventually whether this is going to work out, or
whether you should move onto someone else. In the meantime your a
free agent so if someone else comes along, you should make yourself
available if you like them.
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