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toad on 21/02/2006
Never been in this situation before and
its driving me mad.... Have had a crush on a guy at work now for over a
year.... He's gorgeous and to me an adonis.
Never heard a woman use that word
before. That means "a very handsome young man" to those
that don't know the word.
I've had a few knocks in the past and am
trying to get my self esteem back up... My friends say i'm gorgeous but I
have yet to believe that but know i'm not a minger....
Well you will have start believing you are
gorgeous. Even if your not it is good to have that belief, because
then you have much more confidence which often leads to you being more
attractive.
So I can't believe this guy would have
any interest in me (Mind you people who don't know me think i'm very
confident, friendly, have a laugh and have no problem speaking to
people..)
If people say that, then that is the way
you come across. I don't see why you have any problems with yourself.
But I become a nervous wreck near him....
People, always become nervous around
people they fancy. Research has shown that nervousness helps us
look even more attractive. So you can relax in the knowledge that
you look even more attractive. Apparently your body has a gush of
adrenaline, which sends blood flow to the sexual parts of the body, for
example the lips which become more red and prominent.
The signals (well my view) he looks alot,
many a time I've glanced over and found him looking at me... He also does
the sideways glance when we walk past (this is before I started to say Hi
and he always grins and laughs and says hi now).
Very positive.
We are in the same office and we often
bump into each other, smile, say hi and that's it! When I speak to people
near him I can see him watching me (I have a peek at the! side) but I
ignore him as I'm stupid.
Just be what you want to be, be natural.
I've even stopped dead in a corridor and
turned and gone another way when he has been walking towards me
May just add to the chase for him.
But you can't keep doing that.
(How pathetic he must of thought I was
stupid!)
If he thought you were stupid, he wouldn't
be paying you much attention!
I've been told he's really shy too.
If, he is really shy, you need to be
creating the conversational opportunities. You don't have to have
long conversations, you just have to relaxed and talk to each other like
you would talk to a friend.
So, am I reading this all wrong and he's
simply not interested at all and i'm being a plonker! Or am I (as I have
been told) giving him the wrong message by speaking sometimes and
ignoring him other times?
I don't think this is the wrong
impression, because you are speaking to him sometimes and showing
interest. But what you can't continue doing is completely ignoring
more times than you speak to him. You have got to get used to
talking to him.
One way to relax yourself is to breath in
through the stomach, and concentrate on breathing from the stomach.
When people are nervous they often breath from the chest and sometimes
sound like they are having an asthma attack in the process. Just to
re-emphasize that when you are breathing your stomach should be breathing
in and breathing out, not your chest. Practice breathing from the
stomach now and before you see him, then put it into practice when you do
see him. If you are doing it right, you should find you are more
relaxed, because you are breathing properly.
Just want this to stop... Shall I move
office to get away from him? Or (as I've been told) try to smile and
start a conversation?
Try and smile and start a
conversation. Just relax, be yourself and pretend you are talking
to a friend or potential friend.
Click
here to Ask Sam some questions
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