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velvet247 on 13/05/2006
I've been friends with this guy for about
10 years (for the last 6 I have been in a serious relationship with
someone, well actually since I've known the guy I've probably been dating
someone - but I've always held a soft spot for him - wrong I know but I can't
help it)
I don't understand why you should see that
as wrong. When you are going out with someone, it doesn't mean you
can't fancy anyone else, it's just wise that you don't get involved with
that someone else until you are single.
quite a few people have said that he
like(d/s) me because we were so close.
If quite a few people notice it, then that
should tell you something.
I was never sure, I mean we hugged but we
hug all of our friends, and whenever I was upset he was there for me.
That is a very solid sign from a
bloke. To be there when you needed a hug and to be able to discuss
your problems with. It is the sort of bloke you need to spend the
rest of your life with.
About 2 years ago I broke off from me
friends (I had a miscarriage and got depression - but didn't tell anyone)
and when I saw him again, the first thing he said was that it must be
fate because he doesn't normally go out on that night - and then he went
to hug me (but I was little reluctant, because I was still feeling wierd)
and he said 'oh come on its me) which was probably just an 'we're old
friends thing' . I'm really unhappy because I was so anxious about going
out that, even though he was really trying to be friends for about the
next 10 times I saw him, I just kept up that barrier - so now we have
drifted apart again. BUT, he's working in my local and I swear that,
aside from the standard 'how are you doing stuff' he keeps on looking
over at me. then I started to think back and there!
There must be something there, if he keeps
looking at you.
are some times when he's said some wierd
stuff, like when 'you could be mine' came on he said that it was our
song, and I don't know, just silly things...like when I made a joke that
no-one would want to see me without makeup - he said that I looked
beautiful without it, and when I was upset he called me one on prettiest
females he knew, he seems to point out stuff like remembering my birthday
and once when he was djing he and it was just us two he played underwater
love, and I keep on accidentally making eye contact with him, he's always
been really protective off me. I really don't know what to think, because
I'm gutted that I blocked his attempts to become close again,
He obviously hasn't given up, so I don't
see why you should be gutted that you blocked his attempts to become
close again.
and I'm completely in two minds about
whether he liked me or not because all of that could just be a long term
friendship/brotherly closeness thing, but as one of my friends point out
- I've always had a boyfriend since we've known each other, and even my
mum (who came to the pub one day) said he kept looking over at me - but
then again mums' like to think their daughters are attractive don't they
:P.
But mums also have more life experience,
and are in a better position to be able to judge whether a bloke fancies
her daughter.
Because we're not close anymore I don't
even know how to say 'oh hey, please ignore the last 2 years and me being
off-ish, I was nuts'
I don't see why you should make this an
issue, if you want to get to know him again, then make an effort to get
to know him again. He obviously still wants to know you even though
you have been off with him for the past 2 years.
Sorry for this being so long, I'm just so
confused, I feel like he likes me but that might just be wishful
thinking.
how can I tell whether or not an old
close friend (who still seems willing to be friends) actually fancies me
or not?,
I think your next stage is to get to get
close to him again. Hopefully beyond that, he or you will end up
making a move. The important thing is to not jump in and be
pushy. There are two steps 1) Get close to him again. 2) Then
hopefully it will become obvious about whether you have any long term
future and one of you will make the move.
and maybe the old signs that he did don't
matter anymore because I've been with my boyfriend for so long he might
have given up - but I swear I still get that 'hes looking at me' feeling
He more than likely is looking at you, but
he is less likely to make a move if you have a boyfriend and he is even
more less likely to make a move if he hasn't got to know you again.
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