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welshgem on 17/02/2006
My partner of 5years recently cheated on
me (kissed another girl) I decided since I could no longer trust him to
call it a day. I probably could of forgiven him but to make things worst
my boss was the person who broke the news that he shared this fatal kiss.
Since I turned 15years old I have always
been in relationships... it seems I now depend on men. I feel as if I no
longer have independence- relationship wise.
My ex-really wants to give it another go,
I refuse.
Too right, why should you possibly consider
getting back with him, if he has been unfaithful.
Although when I go out clubbing on
weekends and I see him, I tend to tell him I want him back, and we always
go back to his to have sex.
Cringe, how can you possibly do this? Ease
off the alcohol a bit, I think the alcohol is seriously affecting your
judgement.
The following day I wake up and feel
regret before my eyes even open. (I no this is unfair to him as he has
genuine feelings)
No, I don't think it is unfair to him at
all, I think he is laughing, because he can have sex with you without the
hassle of the relationship. And he can make you feel guilty,
because he will make you think he has feelings for you, so he can get you
into bed again.
Yes, maybe you are leading him on a bit
and that is a bad thing to do, but ultimately you stand to lose out
most. What if you end up pregnant with this guys baby, you have got
a bloke that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with and if
you do try it is going to be miserable because he will just be unfaithful.
Since the relationship ended 6months ago,
unknown to my ex I have had 2 failed relationships.(1 with a nice lad
whom I work with, 2nd was a boy I fancied at school – also known for his
sleeping about) I am sort of meeting a good-looking bloke now. This new
bloke of mine has the looks, the car, the house… but a track record of
sleeping with numerous women. Although he did mention the reasons why for
his sleeping around. Unfortunately for me I have already slept with this
man, drunken accident.
Looks and the house, I can see being
important points to women. The fact that women take what kind of car a
man has got as a deciding factor to whether you fancy him seems a bit materialistic
to me. A car is meant to get you from one place to another safely,
it is not there to be a deciding factor about whether you fancy a
man. Do you fancy his car or him?
The fact that he is sleeping around,
should start ringing alarm bells. You and many other women are falling
for the same idiots, the idiots that don't know how to treat women
properly. If these idiots said "I love you" they would
more than likely be looking in the mirror at themselves.
Again avoid getting drunk, read my article
about One
Night Stands
Every weekend I tend to go out clubbing,
with my friends – both Friday & Saturdays. I get extremely drunk both
nights and end up blowing most of my wages. My family have even suggested
I get help as I may have a drink problem.
The majority of young women have a drink
problem nowadays, but they tend to think it is ok because their friends
do it. You would do an excellent job to go out and reduce your
alcohol consumption, not drinking alcohol should not prevent you from
having a good time. People think it prevents them from having a
good time, but in reality it is just because they are thinking that, that
they don't end up having a good time. People that are older and wiser and
care about you will tell you that you are drinking too much.
The fact is that a woman's body can not
take anyway near as much as a man's body, moreover the effects on a
woman's body of alcohol are far greater than a man. It could
potentially make women infertile, and then casual sex can result in
sexually transmitted diseases which again can make a woman
infertile. I think in the next few years the government is going to
produce a very big publicity campaign about it. Because the number
of women attending sexually transmitted disease clinics, infertility
clinics, family planning clinics, abortion clinics is just spiralling out
of control (I work in the medical profession, so know a lot about it).
I think I am going for the wrong man, I
am not bad looking girl, but I have had my confidence striped so many
times, people I have trusted let me down. I wouldn’t ever dream of
approaching a male in a club/pub to chat him up. I seem to wait for a man
to show me attention… the majority of times their arnt the best, or they
well known for sleeping around.
What you need to do is go for the quiet
guys in the club, the guys that maybe do not get that much
attention. You can spot them from a mile off. They stand
around and look as though they lack self confidence. That doesn't
mean they lack self confidence in other areas of their life, and amongst
these men, you can often find a nice man, who has a good house.
Find a few of these guys and it will boost your self confidence.
Let's face it good looking guys may look good, but most of them are
dickheads that use women for sex. So what better than to find a
nice bloke, who is less likely to use you for sex and will help boost
your confidence about guys. The fact is that the guys that have the
confidence to approach you are more than likely the guys that are
experienced and experienced at sleeping around.
Read my article about: Guys
with no personality
I need some sort of help, to direct me… I
feel lost, hopeless and confused: -
* Why can’t I keep a man!
Yes if you start going out with the right
type of man. The fact is when women are young they automatically
choose the wrong type of man. They choose the type that other women
fancy. Because these men are popular with other women, they can
easily be unfaithful, because all they need to do is move onto the next
woman as and when they want to. Most women usually realise that as
they get older and learn from their mistakes. Once they learn from
their mistakes, they find it easier to find the right type of man.
Which is definitely not usually the guys with flash cars, super egos and
super attractive because they are usually the players. You need to
re-tune your mind into thinking you want a nice guy, who you get on well
with, not a guy who is rich, has a flash car, is super confident and is
popular with other women.
* Why did he cheat on me?
He cheated on you, because he is an
unfaithful man, more than likely only interested in sex with any woman.
He cheated on you because you were not valuable enough for him. The
fact is that he is not the right person for you long term and therefore
you should keep a wide berth of him.
* Will I ever get my independence back?
* Should I bother giving this man a
chance if he might end up cheating and using me only for sex?
Definitely not, men like this are unlikely
to be reformed. Once a cheat always a cheat. He might get a
bit more crafty about masking the fact he is cheat when he gets
older. But the fact is he hasn't treated you right and you should
not treat him to anything.
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