My ex-really wants to give it another go, I refuse.
Too right, why should you possibly consider getting back with him, if he has been unfaithful.
Although when I go out clubbing on weekends and I see him, I tend to tell him I want him back, and we always go back to his to have sex.
Cringe, how can you possibly do this? Ease off the alcohol a bit, I think the alcohol is seriously affecting your judgement.
The following day I wake up and feel regret before my eyes even open. (I no this is unfair to him as he has genuine feelings)
No, I don't think it is unfair to him at all, I think he is laughing, because he can have sex with you without the hassle of the relationship. And he can make you feel guilty, because he will make you think he has feelings for you, so he can get you into bed again.
Yes, maybe you are leading him on a bit and that is a bad thing to do, but ultimately you stand to lose out most. What if you end up pregnant with this guys baby, you have got a bloke that you don't want to spend the rest of your life with and if you do try it is going to be miserable because he will just be unfaithful.
Since the relationship ended 6months ago, unknown to my ex I have had 2 failed relationships.(1 with a nice lad whom I work with, 2nd was a boy I fancied at school – also known for his sleeping about) I am sort of meeting a good-looking bloke now. This new bloke of mine has the looks, the car, the house… but a track record of sleeping with numerous women. Although he did mention the reasons why for his sleeping around. Unfortunately for me I have already slept with this man, drunken accident.
Looks and the house, I can see being important points to women. The fact that women take what kind of car a man has got as a deciding factor to whether you fancy him seems a bit materialistic to me. A car is meant to get you from one place to another safely, it is not there to be a deciding factor about whether you fancy a man. Do you fancy his car or him?
The fact that he is sleeping around, should start ringing alarm bells. You and many other women are falling for the same idiots, the idiots that don't know how to treat women properly. If these idiots said "I love you" they would more than likely be looking in the mirror at themselves.
Again avoid getting drunk, read my article about One Night Stands
Every weekend I tend to go out clubbing, with my friends – both Friday & Saturdays. I get extremely drunk both nights and end up blowing most of my wages. My family have even suggested I get help as I may have a drink problem.
The majority of young women have a drink problem nowadays, but they tend to think it is ok because their friends do it. You would do an excellent job to go out and reduce your alcohol consumption, not drinking alcohol should not prevent you from having a good time. People think it prevents them from having a good time, but in reality it is just because they are thinking that, that they don't end up having a good time. People that are older and wiser and care about you will tell you that you are drinking too much.
The fact is that a woman's body can not take anyway near as much as a man's body, moreover the effects on a woman's body of alcohol are far greater than a man. It could potentially make women infertile, and then casual sex can result in sexually transmitted diseases which again can make a woman infertile. I think in the next few years the government is going to produce a very big publicity campaign about it. Because the number of women attending sexually transmitted disease clinics, infertility clinics, family planning clinics, abortion clinics is just spiralling out of control (I work in the medical profession, so know a lot about it).
I think I am going for the wrong man, I am not bad looking girl, but I have had my confidence striped so many times, people I have trusted let me down. I wouldn’t ever dream of approaching a male in a club/pub to chat him up. I seem to wait for a man to show me attention… the majority of times their arnt the best, or they well known for sleeping around.
What you need to do is go for the quiet guys in the club, the guys that maybe do not get that much attention. You can spot them from a mile off. They stand around and look as though they lack self confidence. That doesn't mean they lack self confidence in other areas of their life, and amongst these men, you can often find a nice man, who has a good house. Find a few of these guys and it will boost your self confidence. Let's face it good looking guys may look good, but most of them are dickheads that use women for sex. So what better than to find a nice bloke, who is less likely to use you for sex and will help boost your confidence about guys. The fact is that the guys that have the confidence to approach you are more than likely the guys that are experienced and experienced at sleeping around.
Read my article about: Guys with no personality
I need some sort of help, to direct me… I feel lost, hopeless and confused: -
* Why can’t I keep a man!
Yes if you start going out with the right type of man. The fact is when women are young they automatically choose the wrong type of man. They choose the type that other women fancy. Because these men are popular with other women, they can easily be unfaithful, because all they need to do is move onto the next woman as and when they want to. Most women usually realise that as they get older and learn from their mistakes. Once they learn from their mistakes, they find it easier to find the right type of man. Which is definitely not usually the guys with flash cars, super egos and super attractive because they are usually the players. You need to re-tune your mind into thinking you want a nice guy, who you get on well with, not a guy who is rich, has a flash car, is super confident and is popular with other women.
* Why did he cheat on me?
He cheated on you, because he is an unfaithful man, more than likely only interested in sex with any woman. He cheated on you because you were not valuable enough for him. The fact is that he is not the right person for you long term and therefore you should keep a wide berth of him.
* Will I ever get my independence back?
* Should I bother giving this man a chance if he might end up cheating and using me only for sex?
Definitely not, men like this are unlikely to be reformed. Once a cheat always a cheat. He might get a bit more crafty about masking the fact he is cheat when he gets older. But the fact is he hasn't treated you right and you should not treat him to anything.
