Does my email address get google cause I dont want this 2 b shown.

Only your nickname will get googled, your email address remains private.

My story is that im in luv with a man that has a girlfriend in a different state in australia & has had her for 4 yrs, i dont know how they hav a relationship so far apart. Im married but very unhappy in my marriage. I told this guy how i felt about him but didnt tell me whether he felt the same way, just said he was honoured on how i felt about him.  i dont know what 2 make of it, is he interested or not is my question. Why cant i get a straight answer yes i feel the same or yes i take it as a compliment only thank you. Can u tell me hw he feels.

It's a none issue to a man.  You are married, he has a girlfriend of 4 years.  Even if he does like you, he's not going to give that information away because he doesn't want to encourage you.  As he sees it, he probably sees a relationship with you as close to impossible.  You are still married which is a big barrier, but he also has this relationship of 4 years with another woman.  Both of which make it highly unlikely to make him show his real feelings for you, the fact that you are married alone would be a good enough reason for him not to show interest.

If he is interested in you, the only way you are going to get with this man, is to spend a whole lot more time with him and have such an amazing time that he won't be bothered by your marriage or his relationship.  You basically have to be a hell of a lot better prospect than his current relationship and he has to be able to think that you would be comfortable breaking up your marriage for him.  Because he's not stupid enough to leave a relationship of 4 years, for a woman who might leave her husband and who might be the love of his life.

You are very unlikely to get a straight answer out of him, in your current situation. 

Reply by marlene 26.03.08

There is more to this story which I better explain from the beginning, so you can make a better assessment.  I have been unhappy in my marriage for a while now, especially when my husband broke the trust in the marriage and played up behind my back and was caught out.  In the past he always denied the fact that he was unfaithful to me but deep inside I always knew.

I told this guy the whole story about what my husband did in detail, we always have had a lot of arguments in our marriage and never seem to see eye to eye.  I was very hurt when I caught my husband out, it was a very painful experience, I told this guy how I was feeling. 

It really must be gutting finding that someone is cheating on you, thankfully I've never had that experience myself.

I also told him I slept with another man to make me feel better and said u didn’t, I said I did, why did you do that?, I said cause I told it would make me feel better. 

He would think it was a revenge attack on your husband, rather than to make you feel better. 

Then he asked me how it was and I said it was shit cause I had no feelings for the man but needed to do it, but it didn’t make me feel any better & regretted it.

I was always crying over the phone to this guy & told him how depressed & hurt I was feeling.

Men don't particularly like entering emotional situations, they find it hard to deal with emotions and think of what to say to a woman.  Anything that he does say, he feels she might turn and attack him with.  Men prefer solutions and they prefer to move on from bad things, but if you offer a woman a solution or tell her to move on in this situation, she will most likely turn on you.  So a guy has to try and keep control of himself and try not to offer solutions or tell her to move on and forget about it.

Then I slowly got slightly better. I finally told him how I felt about him and told him I was feeling this way about him for a long time – by an email.  I told him I knew I could never be with him but I had to tell him of how I felt towards him.  I see him next week face to face and its going to be hard. I told him I hoped he didn’t think low of me by telling him but he didn’t reply to that message. 

Getting a bit too female psycho for him.  He doesn't know how to respond to emotional type emails, so he will ignore them.  Chances are if he does reply, he will say the wrong thing anyway.  So whatever he does he's lost.

I also told him that I told my husband that if he was free and willing I would leave to be with him. His reply was that prudent to tell my husband everything cause its no good for the marriage & this would create insecurity on the marriage. 

It would. 

I replied and told him that I don’t tell my husband everything.

He has always given me compliments on how great I am & great I look.  Last week he placed his hands towards my hair and placed it behind my ears & said I should wear it like that cause it better for my business and I look good that way.  In the past when I have called him early morning he says u just caught me naked im in the shower, other times or u caught me in the shower again.  Last week I was the last to leave from our meetings (work related) and he took his tie off & unbuttoned his shirt, I said oh your stripping in front of me that’s dangerous (this was before he got the email on my feelings) and laughed.

He wants the sexual side but findings the feelings bit, extremely scarey.

In the past he has always made time for me & catch up for a coffee before our meetings and is always looking out for me, walking me to my car, making sure im ok.

Sam I don’t know what to make of this, does this man have feelings for me?

I think he might have done, but he might have been put off by your emotional instability in front of him.  I know you can't stop yourself from displaying your feelings, but I think this is best done after you have started a relationship with a guy rather than before.

Why doesn’t he ever talk about his girlfriend, he never mentions her, ever!

I think he probably wanted to avoid mentioning her because he wanted to have an affair with you, that's the most likely reason men avoiding talking about their girlfriend.  To a man, if a woman has a boyfriend or husband, it tends to put him off.  I think men think if a woman knows I have a girlfriend or I remind her I have a girlfriend she's not going to want to have sex with me.

What do I do from hear on Sam?

Nothing is going to happen, so move on.  I think there was a vague chance of something happening before, but I think there's little chance now.

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