ive been going out with my boyfriend now for 9months, recently we had hugh arguement as things over the months had built up and i blow my top.

People always have arguments in relationships, it's part of being in a relationship, you can't live together forever and agree on everything.  What's important is that you make up quickly and resolve the problems. 

we coulod talk to each other but for months he didnt and all a got was i dont know or the shoulder shrug.

Imagine what shoulder shrugs mean, they are the universal sign of someone who is saying "I don't know", by using their body language, to indicate.  This is the sign that he doesn't know what to do and doesn't know what to say.  He's gone into man can't win mode.  He knows whatever he says, he's never going to win or be listened to, whatever he says you are going to want the opposite just for the sake of it, whatever he says you are just going to scream at him.  So he can't be bothered to say anything anymore.  For this reason he wants to punish you by saying nothing and shoulder shrugging.  This is not good for either of you.  For you it means you don't get to discuss your issues, for him, he's just spending time dwelling on it, eating up inside and feeling as though he's getting less and less attracted to you. 

how do i get him to talk to me again and fancy me again?

The first step is to get him to talk to you again.  The fancying bit comes once you've made the peace and he can start to feel attracted to you, instead of a raging woman that doesn't give him chance to speak or listen to anything he says.  First of all you need to keep calm when you are talking to him, no raising your voice, even if he provokes you to, slip a little joke in their, (not a quip attacking him because they are not funny in this circumstance).  Maybe a little quip attacking yourself to make you look less of an aggressor.  Men do not like verbal arguments with women, women are much better with words and are always going to win, women work themselves up into a rage and blurt out long rants that a guy is never going to understand.  A guy just wants to escape or at least wear a decent pair of ear plugs.  So the best way to discuss things is in a calm tone of voice.  If he gets angry still stay in a calm tone of voice, then he'll just find it impossible to stay angry.  It needs two people to have a raging argument, if one is just talking calmly eventually the other one is just going to give up the rage and realise they are not getting anywhere.

i stayed in the country for him, all i want to know is what he is thinking about stuff and what he wants to do,

He is thinking how can I get away from this, how can I get out of this situation.  I'm hating my life at the moment and hating her.  The problem is guys prefer the women to walk away or at least finish things, I don't quite understand why, but guys in long term relationships prefer women to walk away from them.  Maybe it's because we spend all our lives looking for a woman to become attached to, one comes along who we've invested so much time in and we can't believe it's now turning rotten after so much time, so we think better give it a bit longer, things might become good again.  In your situation it sounds as though you have moved to another country and therefore the stakes are much higher.

plus we havnt been going out as we both have lack of money but when we do he sometimes goes out with his mates and im at home (as i dont know many people over here) can you help

Not going out, does meet you can't enjoy life, neither does not having money.  People managed years ago without much money, people could equally be more resourceful nowadays and be inventive at home or else find someone locally to have some fun, like a park.  There's too much emphasis on money nowadays, but there are still poor people out there and some of those poor people manage to enjoy their lives.  The fact that he's going out with his mates says it all.  When his partner is providing so much anguish, what better than to escape and enjoy himself with his friends and forget about the bad time he is having.  This is what keeps him alive and keeps his morale at a fairly safe level, if he didn't have a good time with his friends or be able to escape his situation at home he would end up in the depths of depression.  He probably is depressed to a certain extent but at least he's not depressed to the extent of wanting to take his own life, because he has his friends to help him.  He might not even discuss things with them, he's probably just getting out of there and enjoying himself and avoiding the pressure and anxiety of being at home and arguing.

Needless to say though, this is not good for your relationship.  He is not talking to you and is trying his best to avoid you.  What you need to do is make his time with you more enjoyable again, talk to him calmly, have fun with him and try and be happy with him.  It's not going to happen instantly, but over time there's a chance you can repair things.

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