I met my boyfriend while we were in Borneo over the summer (07) through a college trip that we had planned for the past two years.

Wow, I wish I went to somewhere like Borneo on a college trip.

Although hardly speaking before we got there. we really hit it off and decided that when we got back into the UK. When we got back I found out that he had been pursuing a girl in our college since april time and asked her out a few weeks before we went away to Borneo. During the past week/weeks I have found out that she texts him more than I do and gets replies more than I do, she sends dirty text messages to him saying shes horney and wants his 'magic fingers' although they never had sex together.

I understand what you mean, fingers only.  It sounds kind of odd because you seemed to indicate he asked her out, but don't mention that they are boyfriend/girlfriend or having any dates.  It all seems to be just a virtual situation where they have phone sex or rather text sex.  But how do you know he hasn't had sex with her?

The other day when we woke she had sent him a photo message of her naked touching her self. As well as this on his half term back at home while I was still at uni, she told him that she loved him...

I think it is clear that she loves him, but it is not so clear whether he loves her, iin fact really he can't love her if he is seeing you.  He might see her as his reserve sex partner, if you stop going out with him, he can give her a call with his magic finger.  Equally it could be the other way round and he could be playing with you or he could just be playing with both of you.  An ideal situation for a man is having two women after him, they are both competing for him but neither of you are taking a stance with him, that if she doesn't go, I'm ditching you.

Hes told me that he loves me and that she doesnt try to come between us and hes trying to not let her..

He could be telling you the truth here, he could be being a player and telling you want you want to hear.  Only time will tell which one it is.  It sounds as though he's a popular guy and for that reason he's less likely to be faithful either now or in the future, women tend to swarm around popular guys, even if they are playing with them.  The problem is, even if he wanted to, he can't stop her contacting him unless he changes his mobile number.

I can't help feel really unsure about whats going on between them... When I first met her she tried to kiss him and I was right next to him! I dont believe hes been unfaithfull but Id like a guys opinion on what you think is going on and whether I need to worry and stop this before I get my heart broken more than it already could...

Long term I doubt this guy is going to be faithful, you are only in college and already he's having two women at the same time.  He maybe being faithful to you at the moment by not having sex with her, but is this going to last with all the temptations.  One week you might have an argument with him, he can't get any sex from you, so he will go back to her, then make it up with you the week after without you knowing he's had sex with her.  At the very least you need to say to him clearly that if she doesn't go, then I'm going to have to finish with you.  He needs to either send her text and say it needs to finish or he needs to change his phone number. 

At the moment the guy is in an ideal situation he has two women who are fighting over him and who he can have sex with, it really is a heavenly situation for a man to be in.  At college age, men are not so keen to settle down, get married and have children, they want to experiment have sex and enjoy life without committment to any one woman.

If I give you an illustration of two types of woman and see if you can work out which category you are in with this guy and which category this other lady is in:

1) Casual Sex woman: She's good looking, has a great pair of boobs and a great body and he wants to have casual sex with her.

2) Long term relationship woman: She's good looking, has at least an average body and he has great rapport with her (rapport means your personalities are suited and you get on well together).  He wants to have sex with you but also values your company.

Can you see the difference, one is just a pretty body, the other is a nice body but most important of all a long term soulmate.  He wants to have sex with both, because guys like sex but long term the one that has the rapport with him is the best option.

But you also need to ask yourself, who is he seen out and about with, who does he hang about with at college.  If he hangs about with you, it's you who he visually wants to be seen with and this other lady who he just wants sex from. 

I really love him and trust him but I wouldnt trust her with my toenail clippings!!

I wouldn't trust either of them, until you know for sure what's going on. 

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