| I discovered porn in his dresser, I just don't know what he sees in porn, we have sex every few days |
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| Written by kimmy | |
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me and my boy friend have been together four 4 years now but in the two years we were together i discovered porn in his dresser i had a rough time explaining my self to him and he didnt tell me the truth about him watching it and iam a very sexy women sexual i just dont know what he sees in porn i think he gets in a fight with me so ill leave and after i leave he watchs porn and we have sex every other day iam a very sexual woman I have written about porn before, so I have copied some extracts from my other articles, then finished off by answering your situation. Men tend to feel ashamed about masturbation and looking at pornography, they certainly don't want their girlfriends to find their mags or videos, it's just embarrassing. As well as being that buzz that he can have when he hasn't got a woman, it's also his inspiration for sex, so that maybe another reason why he doesn't want his girlfriend checking them out, because he might have tried a few things on you. What's also in these videos and mags are things that he can't have in real life, they are fantasies that will never happen. For example how many times is he going to be having sex with three women at once etc. They are fantasies he wants to keep secret from anyone else. Because again if he got down to talking about them, he would probably think that you would think they are disgusting ideas. It messes up his head knowing that you have seen it and knowing that you have deliberately interfered into a private element of his life. I think porn is a bit of a dodgy area with women. Men typically like any kind of porn. Whereas correct me if I'm wrong but most women either don't like porn or only like the porn where there is a storyline and a build up to the sex. Men just like pure raw sex type porn, without any of the foreplay. For that reason I never recommend to blokes they show women their porn videos. I also advise women not to ask to see a blokes porn videos unless you really do have an open mind. And if you do ask to see it, really don't dump a bloke based on what kind of porn he watches, because basically, if he likes it, then most other blokes probably will (it's just that most other blokes might not admit it). Porn is there for pure fantasy and entertainment. He is always going to watch porn, whether he is going out with you or not. He could watch porn in front of you or with your knowledge or he could do it secretly without you being there. Porn can be an inspiration to men and give him the ability to experiment a bit more with you when you are having sex together. The problem is men tend to watch male type porn and think my girlfriend would love that. Unfortunately he doesn't realise that in real life most women don't like the things performed in male type porn videos. Watching porn should not stop a man wanting to have sex with you. If he has got any brains he will use porn only when you are not in the mood for sex. Because lets face it, most men want sex all the time, so it can be a useful tool for him to relieve himself when you are not interested in sex. This should benefit you because he is not hassling you for sex when you are not in the mood for it. In general though, I don't recommend showing or asking to see porn until your relationship is well established. Once you start to settle down in a relationship and sex becomes a bit more mundane, porn is a useful way of spicing it up a bit, so you keep your sexual drives going. If you are watching it together both of you should be enjoying it. But I think it is very difficult for both the man and the woman to enjoy porn because men and women have such different tastes in porn. So overall I don't recommend you watch it together, it should be left to him having sex with you when you want it and him discretely using porn when you are not up for sex. I don't see why you should be jealous about a video and a couple of women performing sexual acts for a big money industry. He is not going to meet those women, and if he does I'm not sure he would be interested in having a relationship with them, as attractive as they might look on video, to him they are just sex objects, they are not long term relationship material. Overall I wish porn videos didn't exist because they put immense pressure on women to perform sexual acts that they may not want to do. And they give men unrealistic views of what women want. But you have also got to think of what would happen if you abolished porn videos. You would have millions of sex hungry men, who would be seriously harassing every woman they set eyes on. OK, so back to your situation. Guys watch porn, I don't know any guys that haven't indicated to me that they like porn and watch porn. Most guys manage to keep the porn a secret and they don't want their partners to find out about, some guys may even give up porn when they find a partner. But the truth is, porn gives a buzz. The only time you should let porn become a problem is if it affects your sex life. That means he has less appetite to have sex with you and more appetite to view porn. This means that porn is becoming more exciting to him than having sex. In your case you say you are very sexual and have sex regularly, so I certainly don't think you have a problem with him being addicted to porn. He will use porn when you are not in the mood for sex and will use when you have stormed out and left him. That is completely natural to a guy. So in your case I don't see he has any problem with porn, you have sex every other day, which is more than many people do. I think you are unecessarily thinking that you are not good enough for him in bed or not providing enough for him. Believe me he wouldn't have sex with you every other day if that was the case. You should leave him to look at porn privately and not let it spoil your relationship unless it starts effecting your sex life, that could be in many ways like he wants to have sex less, he puts too much pressure on you to perform sexual acts that you don't want to do. My recommendation, is to just forget about his porn and focus on your relationship. Porn is obviously one of his hobbies and as long as it doesn't effect your sex life in a bad way, there's no need to worry about it. It's pure fantasy and escapism and he doesn't really fancy the women in the videos, he just fancies exploring different sex and different fantasies and getting a buzz from watching porn. It's not any lack of attraction to you otherwise he wouldn't bother having sex with you every other day and would find a new girlfriend. Want to get the opinion of other ladies who visit this web site? Try my new forum . |
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