| In my 40's and fancy a family friend who is 17, can I get him to use me for sex |
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| Written by Clarice | |
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Reading the letter from the 37 year old lady who
fancies a 17 year old guy, reminds me very much of a situation I am in.
I am an attractive, fit and bubbly woman in my early 40's and fancy
like mad a family friend who is also 17.
I always thought that the majority of women fancied older men, until I started this web site, so really I'm actually learning things from my visitors as well. But it seems that older women do fancy younger men. My conclusion now would be the reasons why there aren't a lot of older women shacked up with younger men is for one or more of the following reasons: 1) Older women think they don't have a chance with younger men. 2) Younger men think they don't have a chance with older women. 3) There is still a stigma attached to younger men that go out with older women, which kind of puts a bloke off. 4) Younger blokes tend to go through hormonal phases where when their hormones are high they crave an older woman who can show them some experience in bed, to lower hormone levels when they get their common sense back and realise that they would only be using the older woman for sex. We don't often get time on our own together but when we do the tension is there and I'm really keen to act upon it. My husband knows I like this guy and has said it's okay to follow through my fantasies as it would turn him on too. Obviously it would just be for sex and I'm sure this lad would only want that too, as our family friendship is important. Yes, as I indicate above, usually the only reason for a guy wanting an older woman is because of the sexual experience. There are some isolated incidents where younger men get hooked on older women and the relationship turns out to be a long term relationship. This guy gets giggly around me and appears to like it when I touch him. I have made it clear in subtle ways that I like him and would have hinted we should get to know each other better. He gets giggly and embarrased and seems to want me to make the first move - do I or don't I? When it comes to older women, younger guys feel very apprehensive about making the first move or any move at all. If he gets rejected then it would be serious humiliation and would dent his confidence massively, for this reason it is up to the woman to make the moves. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to make the moves throughout the whole process, but certainly you need to get him into a circumstance where you can have sex their and then and where you can give a lot of very subtle hints, so many hints that he might actually start making some moves. He needs to be reassured that you don't mind him touching you. I don't want to 'abuse' him by coming on to him and pushing him into a situation that he feels he can't handle, but I'm sure really it's what he wants, he just can't make the first move himself - because I'm married. Yes, he will be scared that your husband might catch you both and beat him up. So you need to reassure him that your husband definitely won't catch you both at it. You also need to catch at a time when his hormones are high. Catch him at a time when his hormones are low and he most certainly won't be quite as interested, he will be in common sense mode, where it is not common sense to use a woman for sex, especially if he doesn't have the urge at that moment in time. I'm sure he probably does want the sex, but yes the danger is that you might push him into a situation he feels he can't handle. You just have to do things at his pace and judge whether he feels comfortable very carefully. When he comes to our house or we meet in a group he always hangs around me and watches me. He looks at my boobs a lot too- but that's probably just guys! Guys can't help it, if they are on show he will be distracted by boobs. Sometimes guys don't even conciously know that they are looking at them, it is just an unconcious gaze while talking to women. I would say our relationship is not exactly what you would expect from two people with our difference in age. He treats me as a friend and often calls me on the phone for a chat. Is he looking for a mother figure or a sexy older woman to make him a man? Got to say that is quite unusual, the only way to find out whether he is looking for a mother figure, is if he gives any clues that his mother has not treated him right. He obviously values you as either a friend or a woman that could be a potential for sex or both. I know he likes being around me, though sometimes when we are in a group he won't exactly avoid me but will keep a bit of distance (probably because my husband is there.) Most certainly because your husband is there. Even if he doesn't fancy you, he won't want to be seen as too cosy with you, because he might have your husband after him and he might look a fool to other people in the group to be chasing an older woman. though will still keep looking at me and ensure he does get to spend some of the time with me. I feel he is waiting for me to be direct and say 'come on lets' go to bed' but I could be wrong and don't want to do that in case it isn't what he wants and it scares him off. He does though give off some teenage signals ( if I can remember what they are!) He'll often sit next to me when there are other seats, he'll stand closer than need be, he'll brush past me without apologising- as you would with someone you were not overly familiar with. He doesn't pull away when I sit too close or touch him. He'll smile everytime I look at him, fidget with hands and stand back when others are around. From these signals I would say he was keen and indeed this is his idea of giving you some signals that he is keen. Do younger guys want us to teach them a few lesson and lust after us or are we kidding ourselves? No you are not kidding yourselves, guys do like a lesson in lust from an older woman. I'm told by other men I'm attractive and I do get attention from 20 to 60+ year olds. Some older women manage to look young into their 40's and 50's, these women particularly tend to attract younger guys. Because not only is she an older woman but she is still attractive and this will kind of reduce the embarrassment when their friends find out they have been having it away with an older woman. Because friends tend to take the mick if you have sex with an older woman. Should I give this guy a few more come ons and see if he bites or leave it be and let him make a move? I think if you let him make all the moves you will never get anywhere with him. What you need to do is get him in situations where you can have sex, and make enormous hints. For a start you need to be alone together, but generally you need to be in a place where there is no chance of anybody interupting you. You have got to realise that this guy will be anxious about having sex with you, so to risk your husband turning up on the scene or anybody else, would push his anxiousness beyond being able to have sex with you. The slightest noise or interuption will make him jumpy and take his concentration off having sex with you. Here are few ideas for you to play with: He probably lives with his parents still, so it will be impossible to get round his place, unless his parents are away on holiday. It is difficult to say whether he would have sex round your house because of the risk of your husband turning up, unless you clearly state to him your husband is away. And I don't know whether you know of any other places where you wouldn't be interrupted. So lets say your place is the best place. Do you know any talents he has, for example is he good at fixing computers. In which case you could get him to come round and teach you something about computers. I don't know whether your comfortable with porn. But you could visit a few porn sites before he turns up and when he types in web addresses he sees you might have an interest in some porn. This might allow you to say "don't be checking out the porn sites that I've been visiting", then you could ask him "does he like porn sites?", can he recommend a few. This is slightly risky, it could turn him on, but it could make him slightly anxious, you have to judge the situation.? Also he is likely to show you male type porn, which is not usually to a woman's taste, so if you get shocked easily this is not necessarily the best option. You may want to find situations where he has to get close to you or you have to get close to him. Maybe where you can get some close contact with your boobs or even some close contact with your lower region. I have had older women come up behind me, my hand has been hanging loosly down to my side and a women has placed herself so that my hand and arm are touching in between her legs and she hasn't budged an inch even if I move my hand. This seriously turned me on, but the situation didn't allow me to take things further because we were in a public place. Nevertheless if I had seen these ladies in more private circumstances the fact that they turned me on then and didn't seem bothered that my hand was placed close to them demonstrated that I could have made a move on them. There are many different ways that you can make things out of situations. For example you could wear some tight or even loose trousers (as long as you look good in tight or loose trousers!). When he comes round you could say to him, these trousers don't fit, I'll have to change them, and feel inside your trousers as if your demonstrating to him how tight or slack they are (you need to be near him when you do this, so you give him a good view of what you are doing). Then say to him here and get him to feel how tight/slack they are. You have then got him to place his hands in your pants. You might be able to make a move from there. But if you can't, then of course you have to go and change your trousers, don't be too shy about closing the door to your bedroom, he might want to peek at your underwear (you should have made sure you have your sexiest underwear on before he arrived!). I know he's keen and he knows I am. I'm the more outgoing and mature one so should it be up to me to flirt outragously and see where it goes. Do I let him know it is just fun and it won't affect our friendship? Yes, you should indicate in some way that it won't affect your friendship, because he obviously sees you as a friend as well, so this might be giving him second thoughts about using you for sex. Men are taught nowadays that using a woman for sex is nasty, the only person that can reassure him it is not, is the person that he could or is having sex with. Some women don't like being used for sex, other women most likely don't mind. Or do I just let go and be thankful he has made me feel aroused again! As long as it is not going to affect your marriage and is not going to have a long term bad effect on this guy, I don't see why you should spoil your fun or his fun by at least flirting and see where it goes beyond that. |
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